'Tis here but 'tis yet confused

I started to write this blog on July 3rd, but I was typing on my laptop and my dumb hands deleted what I had written. So, I don't know what I was going to say, which sort of fits perfectly with the quote that I chose for this blog entry.

I am now back in Los Angeles. In fact, I have just stepped into a production for Much Ado About Nothing with my home theatre, Shakespeare by the Sea, for two performances because the fella who plays Borachio got Covid. So, it's been a whirlwind of a week. Drove 24 hours worth of miles in 30 hours. Got home Tuesday, found out Thursday that I was going on the following day, and played Borachio twice--on book, but largely improvised. It was great fun, and the show is delightful.  The cast really lovely! 

I used to say that the only place I felt safe was onstage, but I think now that the only place I am truly free is onstage. I am a fish and the stage is my ocean. I can breathe and exist. Without it, I suffocate and die. I played with the audience tonight, as only clowns can. And it was so much fun. I don't often get to play clownish roles, but when I do, I love to have fun with the crowd. 

My time in Omaha was wonderful. Of course there were difficulties--there always are. But, I felt my dad's spirit with me performing in front of his people. The people of Omaha were so kind, gracious, supportive, and loving that I will always be grateful to them for reminding me that I'm pretty darn good at this thing I do. I was asked if I would do it again, and I answered that it would be up to my family. I can't begin to repay my lovely, and talented wife for holding down the fort for two months with a full time job, and two kids finishing up their school years. But I'm trying. Maybe if they come a-callin', I'll work something out so I can bring the kids with me and give Annie a couple of kid free months. It's a double edged sword, as I found out. But she definitely deserves a good long break. Being home has been so sweet. And while I can breathe when I'm onstage, my heart beats only because I have a family to love.

There is a sort of momentum happening right now, career wise, which is both exciting and unexpected. This understudy gig popped up out of the blue, and I get to go on for closing night of Romeo and Juliet as Mercutio and the Prince. I promise to be much older and less attractive than Brendan is, but I am excited to have one last crack at Mercutio. I love Brendan's take on him, and am going to do my best to honor his choices, while coming from my own, much older and less attractive self.  I will say that my Prince will be much more age appropriate than he is, so that's one in favor of me.

I am also auditioning for the theatre that canceled Grand Concourse last year because of Covid. Unfortunately, they aren't putting that play back in the season, but there are some roles for me in the 2023 season. I'm looking forward to that. And speaking of gaining back what was lost during Covid, we are finally about to start "Almost Maine" at the Rubicon in a few weeks. We have a couple new cast members and a slightly new version of the script, but this truly marks a bookend to the pandemic for me. And although I know that this virus is likely here forever, and will continue to disrupt our lives and art, but here we are two and a half years later finally in a better place to survive it. I do have to say that being in Ventura is a much easier distance to deal with than being in eastern Nebraska. I can come home every night, if I need to...or want to, which I just may. 

I have stories to tell from my adventure in Omaha, but I'll put that in another blog. For now, I'm happy to be home, and happy to have some work to look forward to. 

Leave me awhile to myself

One of the really interesting parts of this journey has been my solitude. I mean, I see my fellow artists at rehearsal and around the apartments, but for the most part I am by myself most of the day. I feel a strong ambivalence that comes with this solitude. I am grateful that I have a place to myself where I can work and spread out and don't have to negotiate having roommates and all that entails. However, not talking to anybody for most of the day, or rather, have anyone talk to me makes me miss my family even more. I am living in a world of silence I haven't known since 2001. But largely, it's been refreshing to have the quiet I need to work on the text and to freely go about all my worldly needs on my own. 

I find myself with three days off in a row this weekend as they tech "The Tempest." Jason (who plays Othello and I are meeting daily to go over our stuff though). Fortunately, Rusty (who plays Roderigo--and is my favorite person here...you know how I am, I always have a favorite) bought me a wonderful book for my birthday. (for those of you who are looking for a great fantasy-genre trilogy, pick up "Jade City." I tore through it in a couple of days and finally got the second book today.) With reading that, and bingeing Succession, I have been able to take some mental breaks from Iago with these beautiful distractions.

The show is in that awkward stage, where everybody is finally getting comfortable in the roles, but just finishing getting off book (aka the end of my career stage of the process). These sorts of rehearsals can be frustrating for all involved. The person calling for line is frustrated for not knowing that thing they knew a few hours earlier when they thought they clearly knew it, and the one in the scene with them is frustrated because the one part they really know and ready to crush is being hindered by the one who doesn't know it. And, fun fact, we alternate between being both people. But the bones of the work look good. The cast is really talented, kind, and giving. It's remarkable that a group of people, most of whom didn't know one another, could come together so quickly to form a company.  

 There are some stark differences in my Iago from the last time I played him, and I love that. Our director (also Artistic Director) is setting out to decolonize Shakespeare and make sure the work and company are clearly anti-racist. So for his first season at the helm, he chose to take on Othello and The Tempest. Two of the top three Shakespeare plays that focus on "the other." That which is not homogenous. And that individual is looked down upon as something less--this other--simply for being other. I can't speak to how that's going in The Tempest because I'm not in that show, but for Othello this is being tackled by rooting out the sad tropes of racism, to make the world of the play look more like the world in which we live. One in which overt racism is still prevalent, but subtle racism and the benefit of white privilege are clearly seen. Shakespeare wanted us to hold up a mirror to nature, and the mirror we are holding up looks a whole lot more like our world today than that of his time. 

How successful we will be, I will leave that to you to discover. 

To read more about decolonizing Shakespeare, here's an article: https://medium.com/the-sundial-acmrs/decolonizing-shakespeare-toward-an-antiracist-culturally-sustaining-praxis-904cb9ff8a96

Troubled with a raging tooth, I could not sleep.

 

We are in our third week of rehearsal and I am happy to report that we are going to have a really good show. The cast is outstanding, and Tyrone has been great about letting us explore and create. I love playing Iago so much. It's just delicious! I've found lots of new things and been able to go deeper into exploring him. That is one of the benefits of returning to a role after several years. There's already a foundation (and I have found rereading this blog to have been a great resource...kudos to that version of Patrick, who knew what he was doing for the most part). But since it has been six years, there is enough distance to create the moment to moment work of the play completely from scratch. And, of course, it's an entirely different concept and cast...so it can't help but be different. 

Omaha is still trying to kill me. I woke up with terrible tooth pain the other day, and after avoiding doing anything about it for a few days, I finally broke down and went to the dentist. Turns out that the tooth I had that emergency root canal on a few years ago needs to come out. Yup, I'm getting a tooth yanked and a bridge put in. I guess I can't blame Omaha for that, and my dentist is super cool, but week one I was sick, and week two I find out this. 

And even more upsetting is that I come home the other night and get out of my car, and my sunglasses fall out of my pocket and slide into the sewer. These sunglasses were part of my very existence. They were perfect. Fit my face comfortably, looked good on, had the perfect darkness. I had them for over ten years and I babied them. Public works did come out and open up the sewer for me a couple of days later, but they were long gone from an intense storm we had.

So that's the update. Show good, health bad, sunglasses RIP. 

Also I'm super homesick and miss my family something fierce!

Iago in Omaha

 It was interesting re-reading my blog about Iago all these years later as I once again get ready to play the role. This time in Omaha with Nebraska Shakespeare. Playing a role again has both benefits and challenges.  The benefits are that you've done all the text work and homework, you understand the character and their motivations, and you have a head start on learning the lines. I've noticed that lines fall back into my brain pretty quickly when I've learned them before. The challenges are to come to the new experience open to different interpretations and choices, and it can be a little hard to learn text that has been cut differently than before. Although the benefit of having the majority of it easily accessible far outweighs this challenge.

I've been in Omaha a little over a week now. We've had an entire week of table work, which is such a luxury and blessing in this day and age. Sitting together and discussing the play and the relationships and truly understanding the text we are all speaking gives a great jumping off point for the play to take off as we start blocking tonight. The people are awesome here. It's a good group, and a good room to be a part of and I look forward to what is yet to come.

Omaha itself seems like a nice little city. Although the weather has been terrible since I got here, and I spent most of the first week recovering from a cold, the times I've been out have been great. Saw a few friends and even some family here, which is one of the reasons I chose to come to Omaha. My dad was born and reared in Nebraska, and coming to the ancestral homeland has me thinking about him.

Other facts about Omaha: Everybody here has an innate sense of direction and will tell you that you need to "go north," or the thing you are looking for is "southeast of where you are." Um, thanks Magellan, can you just tell me if I need to turn right or left? I mean it's not like there are mountains or an ocean to use as a point of reference.

It's more diverse than I expected. That's a pleasant surprise. And a little more progressive. Sure, there are people here who wear their Trump/Pence shirts unironically, but there are also a lot of BLM signs and messages of support for marginalized groups in this country. 

There are drive through Subways here.  The sandwich shop. Not that I love Subway, but compared to other fast food places, it is edible. I haven't driven through yet, but it couldn't take longer to get my order than In n Out. 

Finally, any conversation you have with a native won't last more than a few words before they tell you you have to check out the zoo.  Apparently, it's one of the best in the world. So, I will be going there at some point.

I'll dive more into the thoughts on Iago and the play as we go on.