'Tis here but 'tis yet confused

I started to write this blog on July 3rd, but I was typing on my laptop and my dumb hands deleted what I had written. So, I don't know what I was going to say, which sort of fits perfectly with the quote that I chose for this blog entry.

I am now back in Los Angeles. In fact, I have just stepped into a production for Much Ado About Nothing with my home theatre, Shakespeare by the Sea, for two performances because the fella who plays Borachio got Covid. So, it's been a whirlwind of a week. Drove 24 hours worth of miles in 30 hours. Got home Tuesday, found out Thursday that I was going on the following day, and played Borachio twice--on book, but largely improvised. It was great fun, and the show is delightful.  The cast really lovely! 

I used to say that the only place I felt safe was onstage, but I think now that the only place I am truly free is onstage. I am a fish and the stage is my ocean. I can breathe and exist. Without it, I suffocate and die. I played with the audience tonight, as only clowns can. And it was so much fun. I don't often get to play clownish roles, but when I do, I love to have fun with the crowd. 

My time in Omaha was wonderful. Of course there were difficulties--there always are. But, I felt my dad's spirit with me performing in front of his people. The people of Omaha were so kind, gracious, supportive, and loving that I will always be grateful to them for reminding me that I'm pretty darn good at this thing I do. I was asked if I would do it again, and I answered that it would be up to my family. I can't begin to repay my lovely, and talented wife for holding down the fort for two months with a full time job, and two kids finishing up their school years. But I'm trying. Maybe if they come a-callin', I'll work something out so I can bring the kids with me and give Annie a couple of kid free months. It's a double edged sword, as I found out. But she definitely deserves a good long break. Being home has been so sweet. And while I can breathe when I'm onstage, my heart beats only because I have a family to love.

There is a sort of momentum happening right now, career wise, which is both exciting and unexpected. This understudy gig popped up out of the blue, and I get to go on for closing night of Romeo and Juliet as Mercutio and the Prince. I promise to be much older and less attractive than Brendan is, but I am excited to have one last crack at Mercutio. I love Brendan's take on him, and am going to do my best to honor his choices, while coming from my own, much older and less attractive self.  I will say that my Prince will be much more age appropriate than he is, so that's one in favor of me.

I am also auditioning for the theatre that canceled Grand Concourse last year because of Covid. Unfortunately, they aren't putting that play back in the season, but there are some roles for me in the 2023 season. I'm looking forward to that. And speaking of gaining back what was lost during Covid, we are finally about to start "Almost Maine" at the Rubicon in a few weeks. We have a couple new cast members and a slightly new version of the script, but this truly marks a bookend to the pandemic for me. And although I know that this virus is likely here forever, and will continue to disrupt our lives and art, but here we are two and a half years later finally in a better place to survive it. I do have to say that being in Ventura is a much easier distance to deal with than being in eastern Nebraska. I can come home every night, if I need to...or want to, which I just may. 

I have stories to tell from my adventure in Omaha, but I'll put that in another blog. For now, I'm happy to be home, and happy to have some work to look forward to. 

Leave me awhile to myself

One of the really interesting parts of this journey has been my solitude. I mean, I see my fellow artists at rehearsal and around the apartments, but for the most part I am by myself most of the day. I feel a strong ambivalence that comes with this solitude. I am grateful that I have a place to myself where I can work and spread out and don't have to negotiate having roommates and all that entails. However, not talking to anybody for most of the day, or rather, have anyone talk to me makes me miss my family even more. I am living in a world of silence I haven't known since 2001. But largely, it's been refreshing to have the quiet I need to work on the text and to freely go about all my worldly needs on my own. 

I find myself with three days off in a row this weekend as they tech "The Tempest." Jason (who plays Othello and I are meeting daily to go over our stuff though). Fortunately, Rusty (who plays Roderigo--and is my favorite person here...you know how I am, I always have a favorite) bought me a wonderful book for my birthday. (for those of you who are looking for a great fantasy-genre trilogy, pick up "Jade City." I tore through it in a couple of days and finally got the second book today.) With reading that, and bingeing Succession, I have been able to take some mental breaks from Iago with these beautiful distractions.

The show is in that awkward stage, where everybody is finally getting comfortable in the roles, but just finishing getting off book (aka the end of my career stage of the process). These sorts of rehearsals can be frustrating for all involved. The person calling for line is frustrated for not knowing that thing they knew a few hours earlier when they thought they clearly knew it, and the one in the scene with them is frustrated because the one part they really know and ready to crush is being hindered by the one who doesn't know it. And, fun fact, we alternate between being both people. But the bones of the work look good. The cast is really talented, kind, and giving. It's remarkable that a group of people, most of whom didn't know one another, could come together so quickly to form a company.  

 There are some stark differences in my Iago from the last time I played him, and I love that. Our director (also Artistic Director) is setting out to decolonize Shakespeare and make sure the work and company are clearly anti-racist. So for his first season at the helm, he chose to take on Othello and The Tempest. Two of the top three Shakespeare plays that focus on "the other." That which is not homogenous. And that individual is looked down upon as something less--this other--simply for being other. I can't speak to how that's going in The Tempest because I'm not in that show, but for Othello this is being tackled by rooting out the sad tropes of racism, to make the world of the play look more like the world in which we live. One in which overt racism is still prevalent, but subtle racism and the benefit of white privilege are clearly seen. Shakespeare wanted us to hold up a mirror to nature, and the mirror we are holding up looks a whole lot more like our world today than that of his time. 

How successful we will be, I will leave that to you to discover. 

To read more about decolonizing Shakespeare, here's an article: https://medium.com/the-sundial-acmrs/decolonizing-shakespeare-toward-an-antiracist-culturally-sustaining-praxis-904cb9ff8a96

Troubled with a raging tooth, I could not sleep.

 

We are in our third week of rehearsal and I am happy to report that we are going to have a really good show. The cast is outstanding, and Tyrone has been great about letting us explore and create. I love playing Iago so much. It's just delicious! I've found lots of new things and been able to go deeper into exploring him. That is one of the benefits of returning to a role after several years. There's already a foundation (and I have found rereading this blog to have been a great resource...kudos to that version of Patrick, who knew what he was doing for the most part). But since it has been six years, there is enough distance to create the moment to moment work of the play completely from scratch. And, of course, it's an entirely different concept and cast...so it can't help but be different. 

Omaha is still trying to kill me. I woke up with terrible tooth pain the other day, and after avoiding doing anything about it for a few days, I finally broke down and went to the dentist. Turns out that the tooth I had that emergency root canal on a few years ago needs to come out. Yup, I'm getting a tooth yanked and a bridge put in. I guess I can't blame Omaha for that, and my dentist is super cool, but week one I was sick, and week two I find out this. 

And even more upsetting is that I come home the other night and get out of my car, and my sunglasses fall out of my pocket and slide into the sewer. These sunglasses were part of my very existence. They were perfect. Fit my face comfortably, looked good on, had the perfect darkness. I had them for over ten years and I babied them. Public works did come out and open up the sewer for me a couple of days later, but they were long gone from an intense storm we had.

So that's the update. Show good, health bad, sunglasses RIP. 

Also I'm super homesick and miss my family something fierce!

Iago in Omaha

 It was interesting re-reading my blog about Iago all these years later as I once again get ready to play the role. This time in Omaha with Nebraska Shakespeare. Playing a role again has both benefits and challenges.  The benefits are that you've done all the text work and homework, you understand the character and their motivations, and you have a head start on learning the lines. I've noticed that lines fall back into my brain pretty quickly when I've learned them before. The challenges are to come to the new experience open to different interpretations and choices, and it can be a little hard to learn text that has been cut differently than before. Although the benefit of having the majority of it easily accessible far outweighs this challenge.

I've been in Omaha a little over a week now. We've had an entire week of table work, which is such a luxury and blessing in this day and age. Sitting together and discussing the play and the relationships and truly understanding the text we are all speaking gives a great jumping off point for the play to take off as we start blocking tonight. The people are awesome here. It's a good group, and a good room to be a part of and I look forward to what is yet to come.

Omaha itself seems like a nice little city. Although the weather has been terrible since I got here, and I spent most of the first week recovering from a cold, the times I've been out have been great. Saw a few friends and even some family here, which is one of the reasons I chose to come to Omaha. My dad was born and reared in Nebraska, and coming to the ancestral homeland has me thinking about him.

Other facts about Omaha: Everybody here has an innate sense of direction and will tell you that you need to "go north," or the thing you are looking for is "southeast of where you are." Um, thanks Magellan, can you just tell me if I need to turn right or left? I mean it's not like there are mountains or an ocean to use as a point of reference.

It's more diverse than I expected. That's a pleasant surprise. And a little more progressive. Sure, there are people here who wear their Trump/Pence shirts unironically, but there are also a lot of BLM signs and messages of support for marginalized groups in this country. 

There are drive through Subways here.  The sandwich shop. Not that I love Subway, but compared to other fast food places, it is edible. I haven't driven through yet, but it couldn't take longer to get my order than In n Out. 

Finally, any conversation you have with a native won't last more than a few words before they tell you you have to check out the zoo.  Apparently, it's one of the best in the world. So, I will be going there at some point.

I'll dive more into the thoughts on Iago and the play as we go on. 

From this time forth, I never will speak word.

So, only one performance remaining of "Othello."  I will miss it and these people so much.  This has been the role I most wanted to play since I knew I wanted to be an actor.  I hope (and think) I did justice to it.  I wish I could keep playing this role for the rest of my life.  This could be my Yul Brynner King role.  But, alas, all good things must come to an end.

I always love closing night as an actor.  I mean, it's usually a bittersweet event.  The people in any given show usually become very close.  For us at SBTS, they become family.  I was actually just exchanging texts with my friend Matt with whom I worked back in 2003.  That cast was simply filled with the greatest people ever.  Although, I'd say that this summer gives that one a run for the money.  Matt is a talented musician as well as an actor, and his band "The Battlefield" is AMAZING!  Buy their album.  It's great.  I also traded messages today with Maria, who played my daughter in 2007's "Merchant of Venice."  I call her my eldest daughter.  And she now has a baby, which makes me a faux-grandpa. That season had a real family vibe.  As does this one.

And so...although this season is (sadly) coming to a close, I have made new family.  And nothing is better than that.  Of course much of my previous family is still here.  From Cy, my brilliant younger brother to BJ, my adopted son who didn't need a parent, but I stole him anyway just because I love him so much.  And, of course, Stephanie!  My other artistic half.  Olivia, the sunlight in our lives.  Dorian, that genius cousin who we all marvel at but to whom we are still compelled to give noogies.  My young doppleganger, Michael, who not only Stage Managed the hell out of Othello, but is awesome in Cymbeline.  Ryan, who I met when he was a kid and he returned as a full grown man is doing great work in both shows.  Chris Aaron/Nelson who is my drinking/carpool buddy (not at the same time) who was so there for me when I played Antony years ago, and whose Hubert stole the show. (Although nobody is sure what his last name is).  

So, I know I've been flippant about that other show in this blog.  The Cymbeweenies haven't really got their due.  But I'm really proud of the work that they are doing. (And the kick ass sword fights that I chorographed--what, you think I couldn't somehow make this about me?  c'mon).  Aside from those I've mentioned previously--Christopher and Iyan (who somehow turned into an old, married couple this summer) are terrific. Olivia, who I will mention again because she's my all-time fave kills it.  And BJ (ditto) gives the comedic performance of all time as Cloten-- there are a few actors in that show that aren't in Othello who I would like to mention.  I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with these people.  I mean, Greg is my boy.  He's killing it as Pisanio.  Just as he did for me as Francis Flute, Orlando, and Owen Glendower/Peto/Blunt.  And Andy!  My angry fairy in Midsummer returned to us again this year--and all my days are better when he is in them.  Then there are also those that I have never worked with.  It's weird not doing both plays this year.  (Sure, I choreographed the fights, but I didn't get to work with everybody).  Carlos was supposed to be in Othello, but had to leave.  Luckily he was able to stay in Cymbeline, because he's awesome.  His Frenchman is legendary.  Stacy is such a lovely Imogen.  I wish I had the chance to work with her.  I saw her in my friend Drew's "Comedy of Errors" years ago and have loved her ever since. Steve came in late to take on the title role.  Kudos.  And Andria is my "talent crush" this summer.  I don't know if you know what that is.  But it's when you love somebody's work so much that you totally fan-boy (or girl) over them, you totally have a talent crush.  Her Queen is likely the inspiration behind  the phrase "Yaaaas, Kween!"  Shut up with your talent, girl.  Amazing.

I know this is sort of a love letter.  But I love these people!  And I love all those who make the festival go.  Lisa who made this amazing thing exist.  Suzanne, who raises money and is also the driving force behind Little Fish's success.  Aiden who came on as sound designer.  Our wonderful costumers, Michael Mullen (who gave me a black costume made of wool, lined with pieces of the sun and two cloaks during the hottest summer on record...but damn it, I look good) and Allison Dillard who made lovely costumes for Cymbeline (especially what Iyan wears...it's the best) but also was great in helping Othello get up and running.  And so many others!  Jacob, Jerry, Kira, Sara, Cindy, Alicia, Dency, Pastrami Mike!  I'm sure I'm forgetting many.  This festival runs on love and passion.  And everybody has tons of it.

As I said earlier, closing night is special to me.  I don't know why, but for me it is easier to hear everything for the first time when it is the last time. I am able to be more present and "in the moment."  I know that it is my job every night; (I think this is the first semi-colon I have used since I graduated college...wish I knew if I used it correctly) but hey, I suck. I feel like I'm at my best on that last performance.  (Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself.)  But I think if you've seen the show before and liked it (or even if you didn't), you may want to come out on Friday and see it again.  It's grown a lot over the summer.  (It always does).  And the care and love we have poured into this summer will be palpable, I think (and hope).  Looking forward to getting on that stage one last time with the Cymbeweenies and the Hothellos.  (Yes, I'm looking at you Booey, Phil, and Jessica who I have mentioned at length in other blogs). 

This blog contained more ( ) than any other in history.  You're welcome.  Thanks for reading.  My next blog will be all about Moonlight and Magnolias which will open at the Rubicon in Ventura in two weeks.  (But will be mostly about me, because "that's how limited my horizons are."--hey, that's a line from the play).

Thanks for everything.  Not only my tens of readers, but also for the tens of thousands of fans who have turned up to see the show.  It's and honor to be Iago for you. 

This may do something...

We have hit the home stretch with our season.  We never really had that breaking point that usually happens during the summer.  I mean, we had some minor dust ups.  We had a lot of costume racks breaking, and set pieces and costumes needing repair.  But this group of actors are unbreakable.  (Except physically.  Physically, we've all been broken.  Dorian broke his toe, but still performed like a stud.  Christopher hurt his shoulder, but he can't help but be a stud.  My back is a mess, but Iago takes control of my system and doesn't let me worry about it.  Everybody has bumps and bruises...but our spirits are unbroken).

There's so much to talk about this week, but I'm afraid that in this twitter age, people can have no attention span.  So I will do this blog a little differently.  Short and sweet moments of awesomeness.

--I am unbelievably grateful and humbled by all the people who have answered my facebook begging to come out and see this show.  People that I haven't seen  in a decade have turned up.  And I love you all so much for doing that. 

--I feel like every bit of training I ever had has been incorporated in playing this role.  It all starts with Jack Stehlin (founder and artistic director of the New American Theatre Company), who gave me a way of working.  He is the best actor I know.  The best teacher I ever had.  The reason that I never quit working is because he never quits, and never quit on me. 

--We were in Whittier on Wednesday.  I have seen this venue grow over the years.  When we first went there, we had to compete with people playing basketball behind us (screaming a shouting), roosters cock-adoodle-doo-ing, and a very small crowd.  But here we are nearly a decade later, and Whittier is filled with lovely Shakespeare fans who are excited to have us back year after year.  One audience member made BJ a bracelet saying "Horatio" because he had played that role a few years ago.  Where else does that happen?  And I was delighted to see a friend from New American there.  Also my Natalie.  (Ok, maybe Booey's Natalie).  She was Phoebe for me last year. (but went to school with Missy). You can read all the blogs about how awesome she is on the sbts page.

--Back to my training for a second, I am so grateful to Denise Gabriel who was my movement teacher at ASF where I got my MFA.  Some of the kindest things I've heard about my performance is how well I move and embody Iago.  I didn't even know what to do with my hands before I met Denise.  She smashed my habits to pieces.  As with all training, we continue to implement it, but I feel like I've started to master her work.

--Melissa Booey is a great actress.  Her Desdemona is everything.  Of course everybody is in love with her.  How could they not be?  She's also amazing to work with.  So young, and so talented.  It isn't fair.

--I have also had many people tell me that we make the Shakespearean language so accessible.  A lot of this is because Stephanie cut the script so brilliantly.  And the rest of it is because everybody on that stage is trained to deliver.  If you go to see Shakespeare and you don't understand it, it's because the actors didn't do their jobs.  At ASF, I studied with Ray Chambers who is one of the best classical actors in the world.  We were relentless in diving into the text. 

--The Slow Motion stuff in the show seems to be working.  Steph staged the scene between Roderigo and me making the plan to oust Cassio in slow mo, and I thought it was cool.  I asked if she thought it would be stupid to do some slow motion fight choreography to show Iago's descent into true villainy.  She thought it was a great idea.  And people seem to dig it.  I wish I could see it.

--At New American Theatre, I am also very fortunate to work with Fred Molina.  I have worked with both Fred and Jack on several of my soliloquies as Iago over the past decade.  I always hoped I would get the chance to play this part.  Having them coach me years ago, gave me the confidence that I could.

--If you need an understudy that not only delivers the role, but also fits in with a cast and is a delightful human being, Dana DeRuyck is your actor.  So glad I got to work with her this week.  We love her.

--Encino was awesome this year.  Not hotter than the sun, and we had about 800 people in attendance.  Including my Maggie (who played Rosalind for me).  It's crazy being a part of something like this for so long.  So many special moments.  I'm really proud of those three shows that I directed.  But more proud of the fact that I brought so many like minded artists together...who will be forever working together.  Also my Kathryn was there.  She was my Titania/Hippolyta and also Old Adam/Audrey.  Family.  That's what we all really are.

--What is it that makes SBTS so special?  Lisa created this thing as her thesis project 19 years ago, and I'm sure she had no idea that it would be so beloved.  It's crazy, but I think the thing that makes it so special is how hard it is.  Only those with the purest of intentions would ever agree to do what we do.  Our entire summer is spent rehearsing and performing two shows, and taking them on the road all over southern CA.  And we set up and take down the set every night.  And we have to show up in different parks each night and figure out how they work?  And we are making maybe enough money for the whole thing to pay for our gas?  Sure, I wish we were making real money, but other than that, I wouldn't change a thing.  I have met the best people in the world doing this...both those who do and those who come to see and participate.  It is special.  It's one of those things that one does to make a life, and not merely a living.

--BJ has declared that Pokemon Go is over, since we caught them all at Seal Beach.  (We didn't really, but man did we get a lot of them).  Also, after the Seal Beach show (where I had friends I hadn't seen in 10 years come...so awesome) we went to a place called the Hangout.  Great burgers.  Beer.  And watching the Olympics with actors is the most fun.  We are all experts, of course.  And seeing our girls kill it in the gymnastics team event was great.  Although we are all furious that Gabby had the third best score in the world but can't compete for gold in the overall.  Dumb rule.

--Congrats to Chris Nelson (our Brabantio and Montano) for being named the new head of drama at Downey High School.  They are lucky to have you and I'm sure you're going to bring great things to that school.

Ok, not sure if the bullet point blog was helpful or not, but at least you could skip around.  Only 3 shows left.  I'm usually ambivalent about the ending of the season.  But I don't want to ever stop playing Iago.  It's the most fun I've ever had onstage.  And although I'm looking forward to working on "Moonlight and Magnolias" with Steph and Cy and Joel at the Rubicon, I am not yet ready to let Iago go.   (IagoGo would be a great app.  See how many people you could betray.)  Clearly it's late.  See you all in Manhattan Beach on Friday!

Put up your bright swords or the dew will rust them.

Ok, so I fell behind on the blog by a week.  I have no excuse.  I'm the worst. 

This summer continues to be epic.  In fact, the only two negative things about this summer are that I'm always sweating (in my 30 lbs. of costumes) and feel very bad for everybody who has to interact with me because I stink.  (This makes me sad and ashamed).  Also, we have had the roughest time with sword rust this summer.  It has never been an issue before.  I think we have finally figured it out and are fighting back, but it was crazy. 

We had two shows during the week that I missed blogging about.  Here's a quick recap.  We were in Huntington Beach.  It was hot. The truck was 20 minutes late (effing Lodovico).  It was our first time at that venue, and it was really nice.  Although it was like the Pokemon apocalypse out there.  We were right at a gym and a poke stop.  Many, many Pokemon-Go players were all up in our business.  As for the show, it went well, despite the heat (which is now the new normal). My Sister-and-Brother- in-Law were there.  Also a friend who I did a show with in 2000, brought his daughters, the youngest of whom was born on our closing night all those years ago.  In a blink of an eye she's 16.  I'm old. 

We also did Rossmoor.  This is a great location, and the local cable station always records the show.  Sometime in the future, it will be online.  I'll post it.  You can watch it, if you can't see it live.  Theatre always loses something when recorded, but they do a good job with 3 cameras.  Oh, and it was hot.  Also, we almost got in a bar fight.  And Christopher is a pool hustler.  Too bad this is just a short recap, because those are some good stories.  Oh, and Chris and I both caught Picachu. 

So this week has been pretty incredible.  We got to do the show 4 times.  Meaning the Cymbe-weenies (TM by Jessica) only had one show this week.  And each show and venue were vastly different.  On Wednesday we performed in a graveyard.  It used to be a little weird for me to do that, but this time I thought that if I were buried there and still had some sort of consciousness floating around tied to my dead body I'd really be quite happy if I got to see a play from time to time.  Poor Stephanie came all the way down,--with the flu-- to check in with us to see just how much we had screwed up her show.  Fortunately for us (but sadly for her) she spent much time vomiting.  I am happy to report that this was in no way attributable to our performance.  Hope you feel better, Steph!  We miss you.  It was crazy hot.  I had some friends show up that I hadn't seen in ages.  It's really great how many people are coming out.  I don't remember much about the performance, because I had heat stroke, but I did give my phone to Jessica to catch Pokemon.  She caught me (not me...I mean my eldest daughter, because it's totally her game on my phone...) Jigglypuff.  (I must mention that I'm sure I'm spelling these names incorrectly because Pokemon was a thing after my youth.  But when in Rome...)

Thursday we went down to Santa Ana.  And I have to tell you the experience that we had there is why we come back year after year.  Santa Ana is a relatively new tour location. I think this is our fifth year there.  (It was well known as the park with the loud parrots that nearly ruined "Midsummer" before this year).  They only commission one show.  This year, it was us.  But unbeknownst to us, the seniors at the senior center right there in the park have been studying Othello for months.  They read it together and have done art projects.  They presented us with one after the show, and then we wandered through their art gallery where they had painted handkerchiefs (which is a big plot device in Othello) with different moments from the play.  It was one of the greatest things that I've ever experienced as an actor.  To have people so inspired by what we do that they create an art show about it is humbling and awesome.  And the work was terrific. 

This was my favorite.  I met Linda after the show.  She didn't speak English, but a friend translated for me how much she loved the show, and in fact, she was very vocal during the play.  Every time I came onstage she told everybody around her that I was "the poison."  They were all so lovely.  And the director of that senior center should get a raise.  What an amazing thing.  To inspire these wonderful elderly folk to learn about a play and to create art around it.  They will be auctioning off these pieces sometime in the future.  If somebody wants to bid on this one for me, I wouldn't mind. Seriously, this was such a touching tribute to us, and we were all so moved.  This is why we do what we do. Bringing Shakespeare to people who haven't seen it, but desperately want to.  Great.   The park is shady, which was great, and the parrots weren't all that bad, which was greater, but it was so humid that we were chewing our words and breathing hard.  Damn it.  I'm so sweaty and stinky.  I'm sorry if you come hug me and have to smell me.

Friday we were in Torrance.  Where I live. In a park to which I take my kids.  Five minutes from my home.  Glorious.  (Jessica gets infuriated every time she drives by Torrance, because Iyan, Chris, and I all live here and it is so much closer to nearly everything we do than she is.  That is my third mention of Jessica in this blog.  She wins the week!)  I love this venue.  And not just because of the proximity to my home.  Wilson Park has a big hill which the audience sits on with us at the bottom.  There were nearly 800 people in attendance, and they are all right there!  On top of us.  And man, did they love them some Iago.  It's funny, because Wednesday was pretty quiet.  Thursday had a vocal audience that called me poison and wasn't having any of my shenanigans, but Friday night, I had nearly 800 accomplices.  The Torrance folk were on board with Iago's plan for the beginning.  And what's so brilliant about what Shakespeare does in this play is that he has Iago tell the audience exactly what he is going to do, makes them complicit in a way, and then with the audience in on the conceit, Iago pretends to be the most honest, trustworthy person that ever lived.  This was my favorite performance to date (maybe of any play ever).  To have that sort of energy coming at me from those 800 souls pushed me to greater joy and heights.  And having such a huge crowd requires extra energy anyway.  I literally felt like I was floating off the ground with all the amazing energy that was pouring my way from that audience.  Of course I had some of the best friends in the house as well.  You are supposed to give the same effort every night, and I try, but I had people there that I love and admire and I really wanted to give them everything that I had.  And I think everybody felt the same way.  The show was on fire.  Thank you Torrance for being the greatest.  Also, it wasn't hotter than the sun here.

We had Saturday night off.  That other show did a performance in Torrance.  Which I'm sure was great...whatever. (How about those fights?)  And during that day off, my body decided to let down its guard.  And I awoke Sunday with my throat on fire.  A fever.  And diarrhea.  Sorry to be so graphic.  I don't think that Steph gave me her plague, although I'm not ruling that out.  I blame my kids.  Before I had them, I was sick once a year.  Now?  Every month or so one of them brings some vile illness into our home.  Ugh, kids.  So, I tried to rest all I could Sunday.  I was on vocal rest, because I really can't afford to lose my voice...I talk a lot.  We were in Long Beach and Jessica wasn't there (fourth mention, which is one more mention than shows she did this week.)  Here's the thing about SBTS.  We do our best to cast the best people.  Sometimes that means we have to arrange for understudies throughout the summer.  It's a long time to commit to a project that pays very little (financially, although as I hope you have gleaned, what we receive beyond the cash is amazing).  Tara, who filled in so fabulously for Olivia as Emelia a couple of weeks ago was supposed to understudy.  But here's the thing.  Tara is also the managing director at Little Fish Theatre.  And they are in tech for "Rapture, Blister, Burn" (opening next Friday with a killer cast and director) and she just couldn't do both.  So she called in the big guns.  Dana DeRuyck.  This is one of my favorite LA actresses.  I will admit that I'm a bit of a fanboy.  I try to see everything she does.  She's super dope.  So, although I was sad that Tara wouldn't be rejoining us--not a bad plan B.  Dana learned the role in 2 days.  (Bianca and a Senator in 2 days.)  And she had the absolute best attitude one can have.  She threw herself into it with copious study and reckless abandon.  And she killed it.  Sure, she may have been a tad late on an entrance, but we are so used to throwing people in the mix that the play didn't miss a beat.  She's very impressive.  I hope those of you who are her friends, and haven't seen our show come on out to support her this coming week, as now she has one under her belt and will only continue to slay.  (We miss you, Jessica.  --5th mention, a new record.--  And you did an amazing job of overstudying...yeah, I just made that up).  Tonight may have been the hottest I've ever been.  Sure, I had a fever.  But beyond that, it was hot.  We were at another new venue.  In Long Beach at Caesar Chavez park.  It was great.  A very different type of crowd from Friday.  This audience was not rooting me on.  They were horrified by what I was doing.  One of the best things for us is introducing Shakespeare plays to people who have never seen it.  There was one point tonight when I was working on Othello that somebody yelled out "Treachery!"  She was into it.  And later in the show when I stabbed Emelia, not only were we met with the usual "awwwwws" of disapproval, but somebody yelled out "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"  That's great.  That visceral response to a 400 year old piece of text is proof that it's still current and important as any piece of work since.  It's odd being sick during a show.  Adrenaline kicks in and the show does go on.  But things are just different.  You have to focus differently.  There is no auto pilot to engage. And words that you know as well as you know your name can escape you for a moment.  I don't have that third eye on Sunday's performance that I usually have.  I was in full on survival mode, as was Dana.  And I think we were both successful.  Did I mention that it was hotter than the surface of the sun?  So very hot!  Not helpful.  I had some very good friends in the audience.  I'm not sure if I gave them the best show.  I did give them the best one that I was capable of.  I guess that's all we can do.

Ok, so I'd like to talk about some other people in the company now.  I feel guilty utilizing my blogs so much on me.  It's very Iago-centric.  (By the way, we learned from our senior friends in Santa Ana that Iago is short of Santiago.  It was the war cry of the Spanish soldiers against the moors who cried "Allah."  They cried "Iago."  I think he may have been a great general.  Our friends in Santa Ana taught us this, who also studied the script in Spanish. 

Phillip has really gown every show.  Dana stepping into Bianca in two days was very impressive.  Phil stepping into Othello in two weeks is ridiculous.  I think his best show was at Rossmoor.  He was on fire.  (and you'll be able to see that performance online soon).  Our scenes are crackling now.  Our General is arrived! 

BJ was amazing tonight.  Our scene together (and you will notice that even when I'm trying to make this about other people I include myself...I told you, I am the worst) when he is talking about his reputation was so good!  I had the best seat in the house to a master class in acting.  I just tried to keep up.  It was so full!  There may never have been a better Cassio than my dear friend BJ.  Nor may there ever be again.  I've never seen one.

Olivia and I have found our onstage relationship!  This curious marriage between two very strong willed, intelligent people.  (Again, all about how things relate to me...sue me, I'm sick).  I love her so much.  As you may have read before, she's not only one of "my guys," but my favorite.  This is still true.  And what has been key for me in playing this role is to have an Emelia that means the world to me.  The whole reason for my revenge is my jealousy and love for her clouding my judgement.  Our onstage relationship has become very nuanced.  We are a good match.  We fight well together, but we've also found some tenderness.  I think this is why it causes such outrage when I kill her. 

Ok, I will write more later and include less of me, and more of them.  But I'm tired now, and I'm sure this blog is so long that only people in the show are still reading.  But if you are one of those who aren't in the show and are reading, hope you come out and see us.